A Slip of The Tongue
by Mg
Summary: Though I haven't decided on the rating yet, this story is about the life of Darien. In it, he has dysfunctional disease and this story will be based upon his interactions with others and the way he finally achieves his goals. This is a real tear jerker
1. Prologue

Hello. No wait...greetings my fellow readers. I am... I mean, my name, is Darien   
Mamoru Chiba. I'm going to tell you the story of my life. Well, not just me...but   
my wife and kids as well. Let me introduce myself again.   
  
My name is Darien Mamoru Chiba and I am a writer. I like to write a lot, a   
whole lot really. It's my profession, as many would call it. Not many thought   
that I would get this far, but I did, and here I am today, writing my   
autobiography.   
  
My wife, she believes in me. In fact, she has always believed in me, and that is   
one of the million reasons why I love her so much. My wife is a kindergarten   
teacher, and she's really good at it. She just love's kids, but wait, I'm getting   
ahead of myself. Who's my wife, you ask? Why, the ever so beautiful and lovely   
Serena Usagi Tsukino Chiba. She always blushes when I say that. In fact, I   
caught her blushing when she glanced at the first page of my book over my   
shoulders; I saw her reflection in the mirror. I like to say that to her often   
because it definitely describes her; I also like to see her blush.   
  
But I'm getting way ahead of myself again. What's my special case, you ask?   
Well, it's not so special to me any more; however, allow me to introduce myself   
once again.   
  
My name is Darien Mamoru Chiba, and I have Cerebral Palsley. It's a matter I   
rather pretend I don't have, but it's the reason why I'll probably take forever to   
finish writing this autobiography.   
  
But in any matter, I'm going to tell you the story of my life now. I will have to   
rely on other people's views about my life, because I can't remember it all.   
Because of this, though this book will always remain in first person, the actual   
person telling the story will change.  
  
Well, I guess I can start now...I hope you have your tissue boxes ready. 


	2. Chapter 1

At the age of four, I stood on my two feet beneath the edge of the desk. My   
mom was talking to someone behind it, but I have no idea who they are. So I   
look around the room, looking for someone or something to keep myself   
distracted. My mother sent me to a chair across the room and told me to keep   
quiet. I went slowly, doing as I was told, but even at my young age, I couldn't   
help but wonder about the reluctant look she had in her eyes. I was very good   
at being able to tell what my mother was feeling, but at this moment I wanted   
nothing more than to know what she was thinking right now. Sure, I could tell   
she was sad, but why? I would find out soon enough.   
  
I watched as people passed me by, adults and kids alike. It made me a little   
curious as to where I was right now. This whole place was new for me. My   
mother had never taken me here before.   
  
I guess you're probably wondering who my father is though. Well, my real   
father's dead, but he loved me a lot, or at least that's what my mom told me.   
That man standing there, he's not my real father. I don't really know him, but   
for some reason I don't like him. I watched as some woman slowly approaches   
me.   
  
"Hello, you must be Darien." She said in a soft voice. "My name is Carol." She   
continued as she began to introduce herself. I blocked out her voice when I   
saw my mom leave the desk and head for the door. I immediately jumped from   
my seat.   
  
"S-s-s-soree, ma mama is goen 'ome." I told her and then took off with jagged   
awkward steps towards my mother. When I reached her, she knelt down and   
gave me a big hug. I don't know why I hugged her so tightly, but I did. And   
that's when it happened, that man my mother called 'Joseph' tried to tear us   
apart. I hugged onto her tightly, and she was wracked with tears. All that I   
could think was 'doesn't he see that we need and love each other? Why is he   
trying to keep us apart?' He finally succeeded and grabbed my mother to   
himself while looking at me like I was something that came out of the gutter.   
Like my mother, I too was crying. That woman named Carol then tried to hold   
me, but I ran back to my mother's arms. However, this time I did not succeed.   
He picked me up: screaming, kicking, and crying, and placed me into arms of   
another man. I saw my mother crying at the door. 'Why wasn't she stopping   
him?' I watched as he grabbed her arm and pulled her out the door with him.   
That was the last time I ever saw her.   
  
  
  
  
  
So here I am, in this room, with all these other kids. I don't talk much to any   
of them, and they don't talk much to me. I sit by the window everyday waiting   
for my mother to come back and get me. Would she ever come and get me? As   
the days passed on, I began to realize that I may never see her again.   
  
  
  
  
  
I slowly walk to the toy shelf and selected a small toy car to play with. I grew   
bored of watching for my mother, so I figured that this time I would take a toy   
with me. I picked this nice and shiny black one, and brought it to my place in   
the corner right next to the window. Even though I had accepted that I may   
never see my mother again, it was still rather comforting to pretend she would   
come and take me away from this place. I was sitting next to the window for   
maybe 5 minutes, handling the car as if it were real with my shaky hands   
when a boy with brown hair and a rather mean look on his face walked   
towards me. Seconds later, he was in front of me; two other boys joined him at   
his side.   
  
"Hey Doe-Doe head, that's my car you're playin' with." He said to me coldly. I   
looked up to him with a confused look. I knew it wasn't his car.   
  
"I-I-I gawt it awff the sh-sh-shelf." I said to him.   
  
"I don't think you understand me." He said to me angrily. "You took my toy,   
and I w-w-want it back understand?" He said in a mocking tone as his friends   
laughed behind him. I merely looked back to the car and responded kindly   
without looking him in the eyes.   
  
"I-I-I w-will when om dun w-wi' it." I replied. In response he picked me up by   
my collar and took the car from my hands.   
  
"Don't make me mad doe-doe head. You're such a retardo." He said to me.   
  
And so my name became.   
  
"Yeah, a retardo." His friends echoed.   
  
"Don't let me catch you playing with my toy again retardo." He finished. Him   
and his friends laughed as I cried. "Look, retardo's cryin'." He added. "You're   
so s-s-stupid." He finished in a mocking tone as both he and his friends   
turned and left me there curled in a ball, crying.   
  
  
  
  
As time progressed, things got even worse...   
  
It was the worse part of the day for me. I really hated it. The guys would always   
sit next to me so that they could laugh at me. I hated this time as much as I   
hated any other part of the day really. I would rather starve sometimes and   
skip this time than to relive the humiliation every day. I slowly took my tray of   
food to an empty table so that I would not spill it. With hands as shaky as mine   
were, that would be a very hard task, but I managed to get there without   
dropping my food. However, this was only the beginning. I set my tray on the   
table and sat down in front of it. The next thing you know, there was a lot of   
boys sitting around me. You ever threw bread on the floor at the park and   
watched as the pigeons out of nowhere just suddenly flocked to it? That's   
exactly what this looked like. That's when the everyday routine began. 'Why   
did we have to have soup of all things?' They watched as I slowly picked up my   
spoon and placed it in the soup. My hand was shaking as I tried to place the   
spoon in my mouth. As I did so, all that I could think was 'spoon to mouth,   
spoon to mouth, spoon to mouth.' I brought it towards my mouth, or so I tried   
to, but I missed. I hit the side of my mouth instead, spilling soup on my face.   
The boys all laughed at my attempts.   
  
"Retardo missed!" One chanted   
  
"Look at stupid, he spilt the soup all over his face!" Chanted another.   
  
"Want a drink retardo?" Asked another as he handed me my cup of juice. I   
knew what was coming next. I took the cup of juice in my shaky hands and   
slowly tried to bring it up to my mouth. I did manage to get it to my mouth,   
but my hold on the cup was still shaky, so I had to make an extra effort not to   
spill it. I drank it happily to their surprise; I wasn't going to let them get the   
best of me this time, or so I thought. I was halfway through when someone   
tapped the underside of my cup, and that was all I needed to send all of the   
juice down the front of my shirt. The whole table erupted in laughter. I looked   
around at all of their faces; why are they always trying to make fun of me?   
They always laugh at my expense. I try so hard to be like one of them, but the   
harder I try, the more they make fun of me. I can feel the tears coming to my   
eyes, but I use great effort to hold them back. I don't need to give them   
something else to laugh about. I push my tray away and get up from my seat   
suddenly. I'm not hungry anymore.   
  
"Look, retardo's going to cry again!" Chanted one.   
  
"Go cry weirdo!" Chanted another. I ran away from them, which was a very   
stupid move on my part. My lack of good coordination caused me to go flying to   
the floor, which of course resulted in an uproar of laughter. I ran to my place   
by the window, where I curled into a little ball, stuck my thumb in mouth, and   
cried myself to sleep. 


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: My New Girlfriend  
  
It's been three years since I arrived at the orphanage. My lack of   
coordination just gets worse every day, I have no friends, and my   
nickname still stands. There's this rumor going around though, a rumor   
that kids actually get taken from this place and put into a home. Must be   
a myth, because it's never happened to me. However, I guess it would   
explain that mysterious invisible monster that keeps eating kids and   
spitting out new ones. Speaking of spitting out new kids, it spit out a   
new one today, a girl. She had blue eyes and medium long golden hair   
suspended from two buns, one on each side of her head. The ends of her   
hair curled up in a candy curl. She was hugging a pink teddy bear to her   
chest. I noticed that she was sniffing. Carol ushered her into the room.   
She showed the little girl where everything was. I was surprised to see   
that when she was done showing her around, she brought her to me.  
  
"Darien, I want you to meet Serena." She began. "Serena, this is Darien."   
The girl was still sniffing as she was introduced to me. "Darien, I want   
you to watch over Serena for me. I really trust you with her, because I   
know that out of all the kids here, you're the kindest and the smartest."   
She said with a smile. All that was going through my mind at this   
moment was the fact that she thought I was smart...boy did she get her   
facts wrong. "Will you do that for me?" She asked.  
  
"Uh-uh-huh." I replied. She smiled at me and left Serena and me alone.   
"H-h-hi." I said to her. I was afraid to talk to her in more words than one.   
I was afraid she would just laugh at me like everyone else.  
  
"Hi." She said as she sat next to me on the floor and bowed her head. I   
could tell she was scared. That was exactly how I felt when I first arrived   
here, especially since no one talked to me. I felt so alone. It was at that   
moment that I suddenly realized why Carol put us two together. She   
probably figured that after what I've been through, that I may be a good   
influence on her. That of all the kids here, I wouldn't ridicule her if she   
was with me. Maybe I needed her too, I needed a friend to talk to. I've   
been here three years and I haven't talked to anyone, nor made friends   
with any one and I so needed a friend. When I was with my mom, she   
was my only friend, and now I'm losing memory of her, I can't even   
remember what she looks like. I took one deep breath and decided to   
start talking to her.  
  
"W-w-wanna pay a g-g-game?" I asked her slowly, being careful to speak   
the best proper English I could. She quickly jerked her head in my   
direction.  
  
"You talk funny." She giggled and I quickly turned my head in shame.   
But then she did something I didn't expect. "I'm sorree...I didn't mean it."   
She apologized. No one had ever apologized to me before and I realized   
that she was truly sincere. "What game you wanna play?"  
  
"W-w-we can pay da cl-cl-cloud g-game." I said to her with a happiness of   
knowing she would not reject me.  
  
"How do you play that?" She asked as she moved closer so that she was   
sitting right next to me. I noticed her sniffling began to slow down. Maybe   
the fact that I talked a little funny wasn't so bad after all...it did get her   
to smile at me.   
  
From that day forth Serena and me stuck to each other like Elmer's glue   
on paper. Serena became an outcast because of me but she didn't seem   
to care. She did teach me a few things though. Like when people laugh at   
you, just laugh with them and it won't hurt as much. She taught me to   
save the crying for later when no one was looking, that way they wouldn't   
laugh. You see Serena was teased just as much as I was, cause she had   
this habit of crying a lot when things hurt her. But she didn't cry over   
every little thing, she was slightly braver than I...I think. She told me that   
her father had given her that advice about holding it in and crying later. I   
have to say that Serena didn't hold much in, but for a girl her age...she   
was pretty brave. When I asked her what had happened to her parents,   
she said that a big car crash took them away from her...at least she was   
loved by both parents when she was taken to this place. Serena and me   
ended up suffering a lot of things together. We got picked on more than   
anyone else there, but it wasn't as bad when you knew there was   
someone to back you up. I can remember a few times in particular when   
either of us was picked on...in fact I remember the first time that Serena   
was.  
  
  
  
  
Serena had only gotten up from our favorite spot to get a toy off the shelf   
when who should approach her but my loathed enemy, Richard. Richard   
is like a big antagonist in my life, and the bully of the orphanage. He   
takes enjoyment in picking on kids for no reason at all, and I could see   
that being that Serena was new, she was his object of attention. As soon   
as she selected the doll that she wanted he snatched it from within her   
grasp.  
  
"Give it back!" She exclaimed.  
  
"What are you going to do, cry?" He taunted. She stood up on her tiptoes   
in a failed effort to meet his height and tightened her fists at her sides.  
  
"Give me my dolly back!" She said in a shaky voice.  
  
"Oh look guys...Serena's gonna cry!" He laughed. She reached up for her   
doll in an attempt to get it from him but he caught on to her quickly and   
kept a firm hold. "Oh no you don't!" He exclaimed to her, however, she   
still hadn't let go. You can basically guess what happened next. The doll   
was torn in two parts, the head in Richard's hands, and the body in   
Serena's. "Now see what you did?" He taunted her again. With all the   
fury she could muster, she pushed him...hard. He fell against the   
bookcase and immediately got upset as she began to storm away back to   
where I was. She was cut short however when a foot was lodged right in   
her path causing her to go flying forward to where I lay. The waterworks   
came like a flood as she lay in the position crying for a good while. I had   
brought her over to my little spot and held her for a long time before she   
calmed down. From that day forth she was bestowed the name fountain.   
  
  
  
  
As time grew on, Serena and I would often lay awake at nights, either her   
talking about her parents, or me talking about my mother. We figured   
that the only way to not forget them was to keep talking about them. So   
every night we had a different story to tell. Of course, being awake at   
nights was not allowed, so we had to sneak out very often. We would   
sometimes cry together as we shared our stories and sometimes we   
would just sit there and not say a word. They say you know you have a   
good friend if you can just sit together in complete silence for a long time   
and still feel like you have just had the best conversation in the world.   
That was the case with Serena and I; we became really close. Sometimes   
Serena would sneak to my bed and sleep there because she was always   
having nightmares, I had no problems with that, and we would always   
make sure that she woke up before sunrise so that no one would catch   
her there. Unfortunately for us...one day we forgot. When I was ten and   
Serena was seven, we had awoken to that very situation.  
  
  
  
  
I could feel Serena's arms snaked around my neck as she stirred once   
more in her sleep.   
  
"No don't...don't go." She mumbled in her sleep. I placed my arms   
around her and held her closer to me to calm her down...holding Serena   
was just a normal reaction for me and didn't feel any different than   
hugging a teddy bear. I didn't see anything wrong with it...however, the   
group of boys that began to surround us thought of this as the perfect   
time to strike. By now, even the girls from Serena's room had gotten up   
and began to watch as the boys planned a devious scheme.  
  
"Wake up Darien." I heard some boy say. I had opened my eyes and   
immediately wanted to close them, however it was too late...a huge   
bucket of cold water went sprawling all over the both of us, and we were   
drenched. Serena immediately jumped from the bed in fear and then saw   
the huge group that was watching us. Immediately the girls began   
chanting this annoying song.  
  
" 'Serena and Darien kissin in a tree'  
K-I-S-S-I-N-G  
First comes love,   
Then comes marriage,   
Then comes the baby in a baby carriage'"  
  
They chanted this song over and over again and continued to tease   
Serena.   
  
"Serena aren't ya gonna kiss your BOYfriend?" They exclaimed.  
  
"He's not my boyfriend!" Serena said in her defense, her fists clenched at   
her sides.   
  
"Yes he is!" Another girl taunted.  
  
"He is not!" She retorted. I could tell that the waterworks might start any   
moment now.  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Darien...look, your girlfriend's rejecting you!" One guy said to me.  
  
"Sh-sh-she's n-not my g-g-girlfriend!" I retorted.  
  
"Of course she isn't." Began another boy. "Because no one would ever   
want to be with you!" He chanted. Right at that moment Carol came in   
and demanded that everyone scatter.  
  
"What's going on here?"   
  
"Darien and Serena slept together!" One of the girls immediately said   
causing all the girls to giggle.  
  
"What?" She immediately exclaimed and then looked at the two of us who   
were standing in the midst of the crowd, trying to look innocent and   
soaked to the bone.  
  
"We didn't do anything...honest!" Serena began to cry.  
  
"Serena and Darien I want the two of you dressed, dry and in my office in   
10 minutes!" She said sternly and then left the room. As soon as she was   
gone everyone immediately began to laugh at us.   
  
  
We ended up getting pot duty in the kitchen for a week as punishment   
for what we had done. When Carol had taken us to her office, she   
explained to us that she knew we hadn't done anything wrong, but that   
sleeping in the same bed was still not allowed and that she couldn't let   
us get away without being punished. So we ended up in the kitchen   
every evening for a week. Of course, occasionally I would drop a pot on   
the floor because of my awkward gait and shaky hands, but since these   
pots weren't made of glass and didn't break, the kitchen lady said it was   
ok. She was a nice lady actually, I never seen someone who took so   
much enjoyment in what she did before, especially since it was cleaning   
the kitchen.   
  
As the week continued, one thing stuck out in my mind...was it really a   
bad thing for Serena to be my girlfriend? I had though about it all week   
as washing the pot every evening gave me the time to do a lot of thinking.   
So on the last day of pot duty, I decided to approach Serena about it.  
  
  
  
"Darien is there something wrong?" She asked me.  
  
"H-huh?" I replied.  
  
"You've been scrubbing that same pot for a long time...and I wanna get   
this over with so I can go to bed." She said to me with a yawn as she   
stretched her arms.  
  
"Aw-uh-oh." I replied. "I'm f-fine."  
  
"Are you sure?" She asked me again.  
  
"Y-y-yeah." I replied. 'Just go for it!' My mind screamed at me. "I-I was   
just w-w-wondering." I began. 'Here goes nothing.' "D-do you...w-w-would   
y-you...d-do y-you th-th-think...are y-ou..." I kept on sputtering but   
couldn't manage to finish the sentence.  
  
"Spit it out Darien!" She said confused as to what I could possibly have   
to say. Then I did something that I had never ever done before. In fact I   
was so nervous that I had not even realized that I had done it until later   
when Serena pointed it out to me. I had spoken clearly.  
  
"Do you wanna be my girlfriend?" I spat and then quickly looked down as   
an apparent blush crept up my face. Silence loomed in the air for what   
seemed like eternity to me. 'Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! You should have   
known she would never agree! Why would she want to be your girlfriend?   
You're just a clumsy little boy who...' I didn't get a chance to finish my   
degrading of myself as she had suddenly spoken.  
  
"What does it mean?" She asked. "What does a girlfriend and boyfriend   
do?"  
  
"Well...I...they...it means th-that...th-that w-w-we can sh-share our lu-  
lunch t-t-tog-gether...and I-I'll g-get your t-toys f-for y-you off of da sh-  
shelf...and w-w-we always pl-ay t-to-gether...and-and I can g-get y-you   
pr-pretty fl-flowers." I finished nervously as I shut my eyes tight hoping   
that I would wake up any minute now and all of this would be a   
nightmare. 'Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stu' She interrupted my thoughts   
once more.  
  
"Ok." She replied as she looked down on the floor. 'I must not be hearing   
right. I know I'm not hearing right. She didn't just say OK. She didn't. In   
fact, she isn't even standing here in front of me. In fact, when I open my   
eyes, she'll be gone and then I'll know that I imagined the whole thing.   
Right! If only I could manage to be brave enough to open my eyes. Maybe   
I'll just open one eye. Yeah, that's it...just one...oh my gosh she's really   
standing there!' I finished to myself as I finally managed enough courage   
to open my second eye. So I reached out to touch her to see if she was   
real, forgetting that my hands were wet and soapy. She immediately   
jerked her head up in my direction.  
  
"W-w-what d-did y-you s-s-say?" I asked unbelievingly.  
  
"I said yes...I'll be your girlfriend." She said as she looked down once   
more and played with the edge of her skirt.   
  
"O-uh-oh...o-k-kay." I replied. Then with a suddenly burst of courage   
that I didn't understand, I leaned over and quickly pecked her on the   
cheek. I immediately turned to the pot that I had been watching before to   
hide my reddened face as she looked up to me in surprise.  
  
"What was that for?" She asked me innocently.  
  
"B-boy fr-friends d-do th-that too." I quickly tried to explain. "I-I'm s-s-  
sorry...if-if you don't w-want me to d-do th-that...I w-won't." I finished as   
I tried to pretend that I had suddenly found the pot more interesting   
than anything else.  
  
"It's OK." She replied. "I...I liked it." She finished with a smile and quickly   
bent her head down to hide her ever-growing blush. I had gone to bed   
feeling the best that I ever had since I arrived at this dreadful place. 


	4. Chapter 3

I was on top of the world; had a cute girl at my side, an enemy out of the   
way...oh wait; I'm getting way ahead of myself.   
  
It's the funniest thing, as days went on, me and Serena had gotten closer   
and closer. I would sneak out to the garden and get her flowers, and she   
would blush when I pecked her on the cheek. It was the cutest thing you   
ever saw. We didn't have much, but we were always giving each other   
sentimental things. We didn't want what happened to our parents that   
we loved to happen to us. So, we started giving each other things so that   
if we were ever separated, we'd have something to remember each other   
by. I still remember the way she looked when she showed me the clay   
figure she made me.  
  
  
  
"Darien." Serena said with a toothy grin in her sunflower dress. By this   
time, she had begun to lose her teeth. So you can imagine the cute   
picture she made with her front two teeth missing.  
  
"Y-yeah?" I asked as we sat at our window in silence, just looking at the   
sunset. I noticed that she had been quiet for a while now; I could tell she   
was hiding something.  
  
"I...I made this for you." She said as she shoved a piece of clay into my   
hands. "It's...it's my heart." She said shyly.  
  
"Y-your h-h-heart?" I asked. "H-how did...did you t-take it out?" I asked   
to her.  
  
"I didn't take it out silly." She told me. "But it looks just like my real   
heart...this way you'll always have my heart even when you sleep."   
  
"Th-thank-you." I replied with a blush.  
  
"So, what did you do in art today?" She asked me.   
  
  
  
I knew what that meant. Serena was always excited to see what I did in   
art class whenever I had it because she knew that I always made   
something for her. Every time we had art, I would bring her my creation   
and she'd put it in her special box with all the rest so that she could save   
it. I had always enjoyed the way her eyes would light up when I showed it   
to her. Then she would sit there and listen attentively as I explained in   
detail about how I made it. Sometimes I would add special parts and tell   
her how I was thinking of her when I made that part. Well, it so happens   
that that day I had made her a charm bracelet. That piece of work had   
taken me a while to create, more than one day in fact; but I was very   
determined to make it for her.  
  
  
  
"Well, I-I made s-some-something f-for y-you." I said to her. "S-something   
f-for yo-your arm. T-to wear on-on y-your hand." I continued. "Cl-close y-  
your eyes."  
  
"O.K." She said with a wide smile as she closed them. From that point   
everything went too fast for me to think. Within minutes the charm   
bracelet was out of my hands and into the hands of my enemy, Richard.  
  
"Well look at what we got here guys." He said to me. Immediately   
Serena's eyes popped open to see the bracelet dangling from Richards   
hands. "Retardo made a girly bracelet." He mocked with a laugh. "You're   
such a girl, Retardo."  
  
"G-give th-that ba-back!" I attempted to sound stern.  
  
"Wh-what you going to do about it?" He said as he taunted me, swaying   
the bracelet back and forth.  
  
"Leave us alone!" Serena cried out. "You're nothin' but a big bully!" She   
said as she stood up with her fist at her sides.  
  
"Look, the fountain's gonna cry again...better give her the bracelet   
Richard."  
  
"You heard him...give me back my bracelet!" She cried out, the tears   
threatening to come.  
  
"You want it? Try and get it." He replied. I could only sit back and watch   
as he taunted her, holding the bracelet so that it was always out of   
reach. I could see tears escape from her eyes as she would repeatedly   
jump and try to reach it, but never could. Gathering all the courage I   
could muster, I finally stood up behind her and reached for the bracelet.   
Unfortunately, Richard wouldn't let go all too easily. You can just picture   
what happened next. I ended up falling to the ground with only a piece of   
string in my hand, the beads had fallen to the floor, the other half of the   
string in Richard's hands. "You better not ever do that again Retardo." He   
commented before he left me behind on my rear and on the floor. Serena   
tried to wipe her tears as she began to haphazardly pick up the beads   
that were scattered from the ground. Her eyes were a puffy red when she   
finally came over to me and gave me the beads.  
  
"Can...can you fix it?" She cried softly to me.  
  
  
  
The way she had looked at me that day nearly tore me apart. It was   
almost as if Richard had placed his hand in her chest and physically   
pulled out her real heart. That night, as we sat on the roof in silence,   
looking at the moon, I decided that I would give her my most special   
treasure; the locket my mother had given me. My mother had told me   
that I should hold that locket until I found someone special to give it to,   
and then I was to give it to him or her so that they would always have it   
to remember me by. It was a beautiful golden star locket that played   
music, and until now not even Serena knew that I owned it. At first she   
refused to take it, but then I told her that it would just replace the   
bracelet that broke until I could fix it. Every time I got close to getting her   
to accept the gift, she would always tell me how she didn't have   
something to give me that was this good. So in the end I convinced her   
that one kiss a day on the cheek would make up for it, and she agreed to   
the exchange with a smile.  
  
Even through the exchange and replacement of her bracelet by the   
locket, Serena was still weary of being attacked all the time by Richard.   
So one night, we devised a plan.  
  
  
  
"You got the water Darien?" Serena asked me.  
  
"Y-y-yeah...right-right h-here." I said to her as I handed her the cup of   
water. "Are-are y-you sure we...we sh-should do this?" I asked her   
nervously as we headed towards the room where the boys slept.  
  
"Yup, we have to go through with this Darien...you thought of it." She   
began. "You can't back out now, it's now or never." She finished.   
  
"Oh, o-ok." I replied as we approached Richard's bed. I did my part and   
watched out to see if anyone was coming as Serena poured the warm   
water slowly right on Richard's pants and between his legs on the bed.   
When she was done she quickly pulled me aside.   
  
"I'm going back to my room...we'll see what happens in the mornin'." She   
said before quickly slipping away. Without another thought I slipped into   
my bed that night with thoughts of what would happen the following   
morning.  
  
  
  
"Ewwww! Richard peed in bed!" Exclaimed one little girl amongst the   
crowd of children.  
  
"I did not!" I heard him retort.  
  
"Did too!" Another in the crowd yelled.  
  
"Richard's a pee-pee boy, Richard's a pee-pee boy!" The girls began to   
chant.  
  
"I am not."  
  
"Richard's a pee-pee boy, Richard's a pee-pee boy!" They continued to   
chant until Carol finally came to see what was going on.   
  
"What's going on here?" She said sternly causing everyone to straighten   
up and quiet down.  
  
"Ms. Carol, Richard peed in his bed." One little girl cried out.  
  
"Richard, is this so?" Ms. Carol asked. Richard just looked on with a   
blank face.   
  
"I didn't do it...honest." He replied.   
  
Ha! Not so tough anymore are ya?  
  
"Come with me." Ms. Carol said as she led him out the room, the echoes   
of laughter following him in his wake. Henceforth Richard became known   
as the pee-pee boy.  
  
  
  
For a while, everything was all right. I continued to make Serena pretty   
gifts, and she continued to kiss me on the cheek in gratitude. When   
Serena became eight and started going to a public school, things got a   
little boring again. In case you are slightly confused, here at the   
orphanage, kids don't start going to a public school until they're eight   
years old. I think out of the whole orphanage, besides all of the pre-  
schoolers, I was the only one who didn't go to Crossroads Elementary. I   
had to go to a special school for children that were slower than others, as   
Ms. Carol would call it. I knew better though, it was a school for retarded   
children. I never felt so alone as I did whenever I went to that school; I   
had to ride that special bus, with the special children so that everyone   
would know that I was stupid. And to make things worse, everyone at the   
orphanage that was my age, were learning cooler things like math and   
reading; I was learning how to make cool artsy stuff, not that I really   
minded, I liked making stuff for Serena. But I wanted to do the things   
that they were doing, but the teachers always reminded me that it would   
take too long to teach me, and that I was too slow to learn; even Serena   
was learning how to read. Everyday she would come home from school   
and tell me about her day; she told me about her new friend Molly who   
she talked to at school and all the cool stuff that she colored in her art   
class that she had made from me. I would always listen attentively, as   
she would show me what each picture meant, and then I would carefully   
place the picture in my special box as not to wrinkle it. Then one day I   
wasn't so attentive, and she immediately caught on to me.  
  
  
  
"What's wrong Darien?" She asked as I turned away from her to look at   
the sun shinning through the window.  
  
"N-n-nawthing." I replied as I sagged my shoulders.  
  
"You can tell me...isn't that...isn't that what-what a girlfriend is for?" She   
asked nervously as she twirled her thumbs and looked downcast at   
them. I turned and looked at her sad dejected figure and at once began   
to speak.  
  
"I-I...it's ju-just thawt I-I waunt to-to learn h-how to read l-like y-  
you...and I-I wish thawt I c-could g-go to a sch-ool like y-ou."  
  
"I wish you could go to...but if you want..." She paused as she looked up   
to me. "I can teach you what ever I learn in school...and then you can   
learn with me." She replied softly.  
  
"R-r-really!" I asked her incredulously.  
  
"If you want to...I'm not that smart...but I can try."  
  
  
  
From that day on whenever Serena came home, she would show me the   
letters and teach me how to pronounce them; everything was going well   
until one day the scariest thing of all happened. It was the one thing that   
we had never expected to happen.  
  
  
  
When Ms. Carol came to our usual playing spot, I wasn't sure what to   
expect. Both Serena and me looked on incredulously as she knelt down   
to the ground in front of the two of us.  
  
"Excuse me, Serena." She began. "There are some people here who would   
like to meet you." She said in a soft singsong voice.  
  
"Can Darien come too?" She asked innocently. Ms. Carol winced inwardly   
as Serena's comment; she had this look on her face as if she was hiding   
some unbearable truth.  
  
"No sweetheart, just you." Ms. Carol replied.  
  
"When I finish can I come back to play?" She asked. Neither of us noticed   
how Ms. Carol ignored that question, but merely stood up and continued   
as if it was never heard.  
  
"Come on Serena...they're waiting."  
  
"D-d-don't wor-ry S-Serena." I told her. "I'll-I'll wait f-for y-ou at da win-  
dow." I said to her with a smile.  
  
"OK, but don't cheat!" She smiled as she stood up from the game we were   
playing and took Ms. Carol's hand.   
  
It was the last time that I ever seen her at the orphanage again.  
  
I waited for hours in our favorite spot for Serena to come back; but she   
never did. But I was always hopeful, I merely assumed that whatever   
they needed Serena for was taking longer than they expected. I went to   
bed like all the rest and was the first one up the next morning and   
dressed. I waited outside the door of the girl's bedroom for Serena to   
come out but she never did. When all the girls were seemingly gone, I   
poked my head into their quarters to find it empty.  
  
So I did the only thing I could do; I went to Ms. Carol.  
  
"M-ms. C-Carol." I began as I stood in her office. "Wh-where where's S-  
Ser-ena?" As soon as I had spoken the words, she sighed.  
  
"Sit down Darien." She ordered, and I numbly complied.   
"Serena...Serena's been taken to a home...because a man and a woman   
came in the other day to...to take her to a nice place because...because   
they wanted her."  
  
"Is-is sh-e gowen to c-come b-ba-ck?" I asked nervously.  
  
"No Darien...she isn't coming back." Ms. Carol replied with another sigh.  
  
"B-but sh-she has-has to c-come b-back!" I cried out. "Sh-she l-left   
her...l-left her sp-ecial b-ox." I finished. "Sh-she can-can't l-le-ave with-  
without her-her sp-ecial b-ox."  
  
"I'm sorry Darien...but her new parents didn't want her to take anything   
from the orphanage with her."  
  
"B-but she-she waon't rem-mem-ber m-e with-without her sp-special b-  
ox!" I cried out as I immediately stood up from where I was seated.  
  
"She won't forget you Darien...I promise...you just have to...to   
understand that..."  
  
"I-I waunt S-Ser-ena!" I cried out as I began to awkwardly through things   
off her desk. "She-she's m-my on-ly frend...she-she's m-my g-g-girl-  
frend!" I continued to cry out as my anger lashed out of me.  
  
"Darien stop it!" Ms. Carol cried out as she ran to the other side of the   
room to stop my tirade.   
  
"I waunt h-her b-ack!" I cried as I allowed my fist to fling every which   
way. But instead of yelling at me, and telling me to go to my room as she   
did other children when they were bad, she merely held me as I   
continued to kick and scream, tears streaming down my face. "Br-bring   
S-Ser-ena b-b-ack!" I continuously cried, my fists still swinging until I   
finally had no energy to fight anymore. Eventually I slipped to the ground   
and curled into a ball with my thumb in my mouth. "I-I...I waunt S-Ser-  
ena." I continuously cried out until I fell asleep right there on the floor of   
her office.   
  
  
  
Serena was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it. She was the   
only one who understood me, who I knew I could talk to and not ridicule   
me. From that day forth I didn't talk to anybody at the orphanage; I went   
to school as usual, made Serena a gift as if she was still there, and then   
took her special box from our hiding spot and placed the new gifts in it. I   
would sit in our special spot as usual, go to the roof at night as usual,   
but I would sit silently and not say a word. Ms. Carol repeatedly tried to   
get me to speak to her, but I wouldn't. They even tried to get a child   
psychologist to try and talk to me, but even he didn't get anywhere.   
Eventually, they all just gave up hope as I continued to shrink into the   
shadows and into my little corner of the orphanage. Without Serena here,   
there was no reason to speak anymore, no reason to hope, no reason to   
laugh, and no reason to play. Once again I was alone, with no one to call   
my own. 


	5. Chapter 4

A Slip of The Tongue  
Chapter 4  
By Millennium Guard  
  
  
  
They could hardly get my attention anymore as I sunk into the deepest despair. For me it was all over before it even began; for the second time in my life someone I loved was taken away from me. From that day forth I never spoke a word to anyone; at some point in time I think I even forgot what my voice had sounded like.   
  
But it didn't matter; I didn't need it.   
  
I spent my mornings making more gifts for Serena and placing them in her box. I spent my afternoons starring out the window in hope that she would come back. I spent my evenings on the roof crying softly and thinking of her. The world for me became a lonely place; I felt as if I was wasting away.   
  
  
  
  
  
At the age of eleven I had seen many kids come and go, even my arch nemesis Richard. But I had long since lost connection with the world, which is why I was very indifferent when Carol approached me one day.  
  
  
  
"Darien?" She asked me softly as she knelt next to where I sat looking out the window with my knee bent up and my arm carelessly lying over it. In moments like these, my attention was focused, nothing could stir me. "Darien?" When I didn't give her the desired attention as usual, she left me alone. I thought I had bought my peace, but I could feel a new presence join me.  
  
"Whatcha looking at?" A deep resonating and yet mellow voice asked me. I was somewhat startled, but still, I did not stir. "It really is beautiful out there isn't?" The voice continued. "The way the sun sets the sky afire with red, oranges, purples...blues...looks like a painting come to life." He paused. "So...who's the girl?"  
  
This definitely got my attention; my head whipped round so fast that I'm surprised I didn't crack it. I was overwhelmed to see a kind middle aged man with sandy blonde hair starring fondly at me with a huge grin plastered on his face.   
  
"I take it she was very special to you..." He continued softly. I didn't respond, merely turned back towards the window, but now with a different view in mind. For the first time in a long time, I was listening, and he knew it. "Girls like that only come once in a lifetime...sort of like soul mates...somehow, even if you don't know it, at a very young age your mind makes this connection that says that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, and that without them things will never be the same. There is always an upside though, whomever that person is, you will meet them more than once I'm sure, if they're your soul mate that is." He smiled. "Hmmm...soul mates always have this way of running into each other."   
  
  
  
  
When I think about that conversation, I realize that it was the first ray of hope that I had ever received that led me to believe that I may see my Serena again. Don't get me wrong, I always sat waiting for her arrival...but there was never any promise in it. I think that is why that first meeting was so special; he gave me something that I had not had before. His name was John Matthews, and he was the first thing that ever resembled a father in my life, as far as I can remember that is. But perhaps I should let him tell the story, he can tell it better than I can.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
When Maggie and I had come to the orphanage, I hadn't known what to expect. All that I knew is that we had been waiting in line for so long through the adoption agency so that we could have a child, but those processes were so consuming and overwhelming and required many tedious meetings in which they would match child with parent.   
  
Originally, we had wanted a baby. It had hurt our hearts when Maggie had to have her ovaries removed early in our marriage; it meant that there would be no childbearing experiences in our life. We cried long tears over this matter until I decided one day to bring up the method of adoption. I had never seen Maggie's eyes perk up so, and become so filled with light. We had hoped we could get a baby boy and be able to raise him from youth as our own...but as I said before, the process was long. In fact, the process of getting a baby was a lot longer than any other and required much paperwork. It was also a very heart wrecking process to be called to the agency many times on false alert, thinking that that day would be the day. Not only that, but we had been made to understand that the process was shaky because if the true parents ever wanted custody, they could take the child back at any time...I don't know how I could have ever dealt with that.  
  
As a pediatric physical therapist, I came in contact with children of all ages, sizes, gender, type and sometimes I came home with such a heart ache so wrenching that it took Maggie several hours to calm me down. But there were those days when she would come home with the same pain too. She was a pediatric speech therapist, and sometimes she would come home with these amazing stories on how she had gotten the kids to form their first words. She would always have a fire in her eyes then, but in the same moment it would flicker, and then go out again.   
  
So at the young age of 28, I found myself at this orphanage. For some reason, in all the others I had been to, none of the children had seemed just right. I know that through all that we had been though we should be grateful to even find a child, but I just had this feeling that there was this one kid out there who needed us as much as we needed him.   
  
As soon as I saw him sitting there, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was what I wanted. God must have been looking down on us that day, cause I felt like tears would spring to my eyes when I saw this little body with these brilliant innocent blue eyes and this mop of black hair sitting all to himself in the corner, just starring out the window. I could feel Maggie's hands tightly grip my own when she too saw him, and I knew at that moment that she had felt it too. I was startled from my revere when the woman who had showed us into the room spoke to us.   
  
"That's Darien Shields...his mother and step-father dropped him off when he was only four." She paused, looking towards us to see if she had our full attention. "He's now eleven...he's been here for approximately seven years. To me, Darien is a little special, and it's not because he was born with Cerebral Palsy...but I sense that there is something about him. I think he's a lot smarter than the teachers give him credit for. Unfortunately, by law we are required to test the students to see what schools to put them in...he failed the tests, so he was placed in the classes for kids with down syndrome...the government refuses to fund the children's schooling in cases like this...so we couldn't send him to the private school like the other kids." She sighed. "I know it would take time, he is already behind in many years but...I really don't think he belongs here." I never saw anyone look so haggard and down trodden in my life, and I'm sure that many people would turn away when they heard of what it would take...but I couldn't. I pressed on.  
  
"Can I speak to him?"  
  
"He hasn't talked in a couple of months now...let me see if I can get him for you."  
  
  
  
  
I guess there's no reason why I should tell this story twice since you've heard it before. But to make a long ending short, we took Darien home with us that day. He didn't speak a word to either of us on the way home; in fact, I was unsure whether or not he even cared about what we were doing for him...what he was doing for us. We did our best to make him comfortable when we reached our beachfront property, but still, he didn't speak.  
  
  
  
  
"This is going to be your room...It's just plain white right now...but I thought you would like to decorate it the way you want yourself. Whenever you think you're ready, we'll take you to the store and you can pick your favorite color and your favorite anime to decorate your bed if you'd like." I watched as he silently took in the room before placing two boxes that he had held tightly in his grasp on the empty dresser. It's really hard to talk to someone when you're unsure whether or not they are paying you any mind. "So...what's in the box?" I have never seen anyone get so protective so quickly in my life. It was as if whatever barrier I had broken previously was back up now full force and with a vengeance. He picked up the boxes that he had so carelessly placed on the dresser before and walked over to the farthest corner of the room, farthest away from me. Apparently, I was seen as a danger to whatever he held dear. "I'll just let you get adjusted...Maggie'll call when lunch is ready." I sighed deeply as I closed the door behind me...these were going to be long days I knew. It would take a lot of work to get him to trust us enough to let us in; until then, we would just have to wait it out.   
  
When I walked into the kitchen downstairs Maggie immediately approached me, concern written all over her face.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Still unresponsive." I sighed.  
  
"Do you think it will work out...I mean, do you think we'll ever get him to think of us as..."  
  
"Of course, it'll just take time." I embraced her tightly, my eyes glancing solemnly in the direction of the stairway. "He'll come around, you'll see."  
  
  
  
I have to say that the effort to bridge the gap between us was really long and hard, but we didn't care. We were happy; we had a son. As that very thought sunk into our heads, we became optimistic, we hadn't traveled this far to stop now. We were going to reach him, one step at a time, no matter how long it took us.   
  
I remember the first complications that we came across; in fact, it happened the first day that Darien had come to live with us. When Maggie had cooked lunched that afternoon we called Darien to come down. The problem wasn't that he wouldn't come down; the problem was that he wouldn't eat. We sat at the table, long after both Maggie and me had completed our meals and waited for him to lift a fork, a spoon, something. But he didn't. I assumed that perhaps he wasn't used to being served this kind of food, or maybe he wasn't hungry even. So I told Maggie to leave the food on the table, and told Darien that if he became hungry later he could always come back to eat. He left the table without a sound. I sighed.  
  
The next morning, before Darien had awakened, the both of us were surprised to see Darien's plate almost bare, and food sloppily strewn about the table. I didn't understand; why would he do this? Carol never mentioned him being a problem child, just a closed off one. Maggie wanted to cry; she said maybe he didn't like her food. I was certain there was something else, something we were missing.   
  
When we offered him breakfast, he refused. When we offered him lunch, he refused. When we offered him dinner, can you guess what he did? He refused. I didn't get it. I was so confused, why wouldn't he eat, was he not used to this kind of treatment? What were we missing? That night he went to bed once again, without a meal. In my mind I figured, if he was going to play let's fast, we would wait him out. Eventually he would have to eat, so I left the food on the table, sort of as a teaser. The next morning, once again, the plate was almost bare, and the food was carelessly strewn about the table.   
  
I didn't get it! And this whole event was beginning to frustrate me to no ends. Perhaps this was an ultimate test. All those years working with children and now that I had one of my own and I couldn't get through to him. I sighed. Baby steps, I repeated to myself over and over again. When the third day came and the food was once more on the table, it occurred to me that I never even thought once to stay up and see what had actually happened. Perhaps I was afraid to find out that he actually was a problem child and that at night he would wake up and throw the food all over the table. For some reason though, I had this feeling that wasn't it. So this time, I asked Maggie to make sure that she set up a nice meal on the table and to leave it there. I was going to find out what was going on.   
  
Late that night, I snuck into the pantry in the kitchen and closed the door. Being that it had one of those doors with horizontal boards separated by spaces all down it, it wouldn't be hard to observe the whole kitchen from my position. I quietly adjusted myself to make sure I was comfortable, and then I waited. I waited for a good while actually, and I was beginning to think he wouldn't show. Perhaps he knew I was there, knew that I would be watching him.   
  
I was about to leave my hidden spot when I heard a creak on the stairway. Slowly, little by little, it creaked. The sounds of soft breathing fluttered through the room, and I knew he had come. I would see, I would know finally. I watched as he went to the counter and took a couple of sheets of paper towels and brought them to the table. I watched as he slowly pulled out a chair, and sat before his dinner plate. He then proceeded to place the paper towels over his clothes. It wasn't until he reached carefully for his spoon that I had noticed his jagged movements. He dipped his spoon cautiously into his mashed potatoes and missed his mouth almost entirely. Food hit his face, some splotching on the floor. He continued this action several times, sometimes making it, other times missing, before giving up with a frustrated cry as he began to throw the food all over the table. He wailed softly, beating those little fists onto the furnished wood in frustrated agony. His cry was so heart wrenching that I was tempted to leave my hiding space. I even felt a couple tears escaping my own eyes.   
  
Then a thought occurred to me.   
  
To think, that this kid, was trying to impress us. He was attempting to control his movements so that he wouldn't make a mess in our presence. How he must have felt when we ate before him so properly with forks and knives. He must have been really embarrassed about the way in which he ate and I couldn't imagine what he must have gone through at the orphanage.   
  
  
I stayed there for a long while why he cried before getting up from his spot and leaving the table to go upstairs. Tomorrow, I thought to myself, things were going to change. 


End file.
